Colin and Val (Almost a decade to consummate their marriage)

Vicky meets Colin and Val. Continued
© Vicky Laney
Colin and Val have been married 18yrs; they are a very fit, smart and attractive couple. They are now enjoying the happiest time of their married life after years of angst. What caused their anxiety? Colin had always suffered erectile dysfunction, even as a young man relationships were always fraught out of fear of sexual intimacy. Val said “I had a number of boyfriends before meeting Colin, so I knew this wasn’t the usual run of things. We were compatible in every other way, except for this darned problem. I thought it would resolve in time, I put it down to nervousness at first, but the months passed and the situation was not improving”.
Val went on to tell me how she had met Colin at her best friend’s wedding in 1989. “For me it was instant attraction, even though I was in a relationship at the time. I was trying not to be too obvious, but our glances kept meeting throughout the day, I was just so aware of his every movement, his voice and manly laugh. The next time I looked around he was gone. He wasn’t staying for the evening, I was gutted! It was some weeks later that we met again at the towns’ rugby club where I was invited to take part at a presentation. I was both surprised and thrilled when Colin asked me out to dinner the next evening, I accepted straight away, even though I had been courting steadily for almost 2yrs. The next evening Colin arrived at my parent’s home to my mother’s dismay, as she liked my fiancé very much and I had not informed mother that someone else had arrived on the scene. Colin and I hit it off from the word go, we shared the same sense of humour, he was interesting, intelligent and a great listener, I was completely smitten. When I arrived home, mother knew immediately that I was on cloud nine. After this, I had to announce to my fiancé that things had changed and that I needed space to gather my thoughts and emotions. I hated myself, but for the first time I felt that unmistakable spark that I had met someone I really wanted to be with. Colin and I saw each other every day; I would miss him after just a few hours. He was so romantic, thoughtful, caring and very affectionate. When we were alone we would kiss and caress quite passionately, but things never seemed to progress beyond that, I took it to be his gentlemanly and respectful nature, but we were a couple of months in now, and I wanted more! Maybe I should make the first move”?
To be continued…

Male sexual dysfunction in unconsummated marriage: long-term outcome in 417 patients.
http://tinyurl.com/yzho2j7
Helping Couples With Unconsummated Marriage
http://tinyurl.com/yhqq2xg

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